Cash Me Outside?

So I have known this girl since undergrad (so about 15 years) and the timing was always off for us: either I was clueless and naive or she had a boyfriend when I came to my senses.  Anyway, we reconnected and started spending time together going to happy hour, movies, dinner…the regular stuff.

As time went on, our feelings grew stronger and we spent a lot more time together at her place and mine. [Cue porn music.]  Things were going well, sex was GREAT [much better than expected], communication was consistent.

Black sensual couple, African American man and woman of Creole ethnicity hugging wrapped in bathtowel

I teleworked on Friday so that she could stay at my place and we had a GREAT weekend together.  Monday rolled around and we were texting throughout the day as per usual. She asked to come over after work and I was all for it. [Boom!]


I ran a few errands before she arrived and picked up some food, wine, and a toothbrush just in case she stayed over again.  I got home all of 10 minutes before she arrived and I was scrambling to make certain that the house was on point [although my house is never dirty].

She texted me just as she parked outside of my house and I ran to open the door [something that I’ve always done]. As she made her way from her car to my house [which was all of 30 feet away] I continued to put away the groceries and wine that I bought so that everything would be in order by the time she got inside.


When she came inside, I heard her heels coming up my stairs which is a huge no-no because I have a shoes-off policy in my home [Something that she and all guests are well aware of. Not to mention, I have a HUGE shoe rack right next to the front door]. I asked her to remove her shoes and she caught slight attitude and flung her shoes down the stairs [first indication that something was awry], but I didn’t entertain her attitude and continued on with my cleaning ritual.

Attractive couple not talking on the couch

When I greeted her after putting the groceries away, I realized she had a Target bag in her hand and that’s when shit went downhill. I apologized for not helping her with her bag because I didn’t even know she had anything to carry with her and that’s when she said “had you met me outside by my car, you would’ve known I had bags to carry.”  Would you believe that she proceeded to scold me in my house for over for over 15 minutes about this?


Me: I am not a concierge and there is no curbside service here.
Her: What’s wrong with meeting me outside?
Me: Unless you explicitly say to meet you outside, have groceries, or have a baby [she doesn’t have a baby], then you shouldn’t expect me to meet you curbside at your car.
Her: What’s wrong with making me feel special? It’s the chivalrous thing to do. Had you been raised better, you would’ve met me outside.
Me: I don’t have time for this. Let me finish what I am doing.

At this point, I was over the conversation [because I had pictured things differently in my mind…like us having sex]. I excused myself to finish straightening up and offered her some food and drink in the process.  She declined [her loss], but I made myself a nice cocktail.  While fixing myself a drink, she walked down the stairs, said “I’m out”, and left….We haven’t spoken since.

Am I tripping?  What did I do wrong? Everything was great up until that point and now I’m confused.  Was I wrong for not meeting her at her car 30 feet from my house in a good neighborhood [a neighborhood that she’s been to several times prior not to mention the weekend before]? Was I wrong for not just agreeing to only get the draws?  I didn’t want to set a bad precedent and have her thinking that I will be waiting at the curb for her to walk her into my house every time she comes over.




A gentleman, but not your valet


What would you do in this situation?  Was he out of line? Should he call her? Who is at fault?

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