So I had been doing the online dating thing for a while which made me kind of hip to some of the deceptive things that a lot of men do with their pictures and profile information. As I was perusing this guy’s profile trying to determine if I should swipe left or right, I decided “what the heck?” and swiped right. He was attractive and cleaned up nicely according to his picture. However, he only had ONE picture [RED FLAG #1] and his mouth was closed [RED Flag #2] which made me concerned that he might have a yuckmouth.
He swiped right too, so that opened the door for us to start chatting back and forth. We chatted for a little bit and then he gave me his number so that we could speak on the phone. He seemed cool, but I made certain that I shared my fear as it related to his profile.
Me: You looked really nice in your picture. I loved that suit.
Him: Yeah, that was at my homeboy’s wedding a couple of months ago.
Me: Nice! Well, I must admit that I was a little apprehensive to swipe right.
Me: Because a lot of guys who don’t smile in their profile pictures tend to have bad teeth.
Him: [laughs] Nah, my teeth are cool. I just don’t smile in pictures.
I suggested that we video chat to make certain there was no catfish action going on on either of our parts. In the event that he was extremely unattractive, I figured that was the best thing to do so that I wouldn’t waste my time meeting him in person and also so that he wouldn’t feel slighted in the event that he didn’t find me attractive [which wasn’t going to happen because I’m cute as sh**….according to my parents at least. lol]
The video chat began and boy oh boy was I UNpleasantly suprised! Not only did this dude have an overbite with a gap and talked with a lisp, he looked like an Amish caveman with a grizzly bear. A hot a$$ mess!
This Date Is OVER!
His lispy gap wasn’t the biggest problem, as I was mostly bothered by his overall appearance. He looked scruffy and my face just couldn’t hide my disappointment. I tried to address the situation in the most polite way that I could think of, which probably wasn’t very polite at all, by asking him if he was having a rough day, sort of. [lol]
Me: So what’s going on with your hair?
Him: Nothing much. I wasn’t really expecting us to video chat so soon, so I wasn’t all that ready.
Me: Soooooo when was the last time you actually went to the barbershop?
Him: Umm probably not since my man’s wedding in April.
Me: April? APRIL? But it’s JUNE! You mean to tell me you haven’t had a haircut in two months and you’re cool with that?
Him: I don’t really go anywhere, but work, so I don’t really go to the barbershop because nobody sees me.
Me: [Facepalm] YOUR COWORKERS SEE YOU THOUGH!
~ LONG PAUSE~
This is already starting off on the wrong foot because if regular grooming is not a part of your repertoire, who knows what other hygiene habits you disregard. [Under my breath] this not gonna work for me.
Him: I guess I should probably go to the barbershop sometime soon.
Me: [Ya think!!!] That’s probably a great idea.
He then proceeded to brush his grizzly beard and hair during the video chat as if that was really helpful. [Boy STOP!] I ended the call and went on with my evening. We never spoke after that and I was completely unbothered.
Maybe I’m too set in my ways or simply don’t give a f***, but I don’t have the patience to deal with a dude with who doesn’t believe in regular hygiene/maintenance. Where they do that at?
The Barbershop Is Your Friend
How would you have handled this situation? Would you have continued to get to know him in spite of his less than desirable appearance? Would you go on any dates with him? Was she too shallow?
Comment below! Submit your relationship & bad date stories at thisdateisover.com/submit.
So I met this guy who was a part of the night shift crew at my job….when I’m clocking out, he’s clocking in. He’d regularly come into the office a few minutes early and we’d have small talk. I learned that he was ex-military and a gym rat with multiple jobs.
Anyway, this dude was FINE, tall, and delicious, but I couldn’t really tell if he was digging me beyond a professional level and I damn sure wasn’t going to pursue him. [I’m shy! Sue me. Lol]
Well on this one particular evening, I was counting down to quitting time because I was STARVING since I left my lunch at home by mistake. As my luck would have it, the night crew guy [let’s call him Derrick..not his real name] arrived 30+ minutes early for his shift (which was rather unusual) and said “you look hungry”. [First of all, I didn’t know hungry had a look and, second of all, you read my mind!] So Derrick left the office, stopped by a nearby restaurant, and brought me back something to eat. [Oh my goodness. He bought me food! I am in LOVE! Marry me!]
I was taken aback by his kind gesture and thanked him profusely. That’s when he went in for the kill and sealed the deal:
Him: You don’t have to thank me. It’s not a problem at all. I have to be honest with you though…I always rush to get here early just so that I can see you and talk to you.
Me: Oh my! Is that so?
Him: Yes. I think you’re beautiful and really enjoy talking to you.
Me: Wow. Thank you very much. I enjoy talking to you as well.
Him: Well, I’d love to exchange numbers with you if you don’t mind.
Him: I can’t talk during my shift. So is it ok if I text you during that time?
Me: That’s fine.
I didn’t factor in the dangers of dating a coworker since we didn’t work our shifts together, so it wasn’t a big deal to me if we exchanged numbers.
Since I already had a few friends in my phone named Derrick, I asked for his last name and saved his information. He messaged me a couple of hours later, but our text conversation was cut short as I was at the movies with friends. I decided not to text him after I finished watching the movie because it was kinda late and I wasn’t in the mood for an extended text conversation.
Since I had only seen him in his work uniform, I was curious to see how Derrick looked in his “civilian clothing” and decided to look him up on Facebook. As I searched for his profile I kept saying to myself “Please don’t be a bamma! Please don’t be a bamma!!!” lol [Shallow!]
I found his profile and this dude was INDEED a BAMMA in more ways than one. Not only was his clothing out of style [which is really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things], but this mother f***er was MARRIED! YES, MARRIED! #FMYLIFE
THIS DATE IS OVER!
The cover image on Derrick’s Facebook page was of a woman and initially, I thought she was his mom because she looked kind of old, but upon further review, I learned it was his wife because her profile said “Married to Derrick”. I also saw the pictures from their engagement photo shoot. SMH!
I was shocked and disappointed, but couldn’t help but laugh about it.
He texted me the very next day and I inquired about his relationship status and, of course, he lied. I asked how long he had been single and his response was “Not sure”. [You’re not sure because you’re NOT single A$$HOLE!]. I wanted to tell him off and send him screenshots of what I had learned about his relationship status, but I decided to keep my cool because I didn’t want there to be any strife or backlash at the workplace. I became short with him via text, declined all of his date requests, and he eventually stopped contacting me. [YAY!] He even stopped showing up for his shift early and actually started to come in late. OH WELL!
TGFF…Thank GOD for Facebook
How would you have handled this situation? Would you tell him that you knew he was married? Would you go on any dates with him?
Comment below! Submit your relationship & bad date stories at thisdateisover.com/submit.
So I pulled up to work one morning and I parked a little farther away than normal because my usual parking space was gone [I worked in a residential area]. As I finished up my breakfast and did a last minute touchup to my makeup, I noticed a man walk by and get into his car next to where I was parked. I didn’t really pay him any attention because I was still primping for work.
A couple of minutes later, I was startled by a knock on my window and, when I looked up, it was the guy that I had just seen. I kept thinking to myself “I sure hope he isn’t about to ask me for a jump because ain’t nobody got time for that” [Sweet Brown voice]. Fortunately, there was no issue with his car.
Him: Hey! Good morning!
Me: Good morning. Is there something that I can help you with?
Him: Oh I just wanted to say good morning to you. I’ve never seen you around here before. Do you live around here?
Me: No, I don’t. I work here. [Points to building across the road.]
Him: Oh ok. Well I know you’re trying to get to work and I don’t want to hold you up, but I think you are absolutely beautiful and I would love to get to know you.
I started to think to myself “Well damn! This work day is starting off just right!” I mean the guy was very handsome, something I hadn’t noticed when he initially walked by because I was doing my own thing. So I decided to [discreetly] check him out a little bit more as I got out of my car:
Nice shoes √
Well tailored suit √√
This guy had it going on and I was just about to give him my number until I did a scan of his hands and low and behold, this mother f***er was married. SMH!
THIS DATE IS OVER!
Him: So I’d love to take you out sometime.
Me: Do you think your wife will approve?
[Cue screeching record sound effect!]
Him: [With a stuck look on his face] Oh um it’s not even like that. You see, we’re going through a divorce and um I just wear my ring out of respect until it’s finalized.
Me: Have a nice day sir.
He continued to try to explain himself and downplay his marriage, but I was too through with this guy and went on to work.
Take Your Wife On A Date A$$hole!
P.S. I told my coworkers about what happened with the guy and they let me know that they often see him in the neighborhood with his wife. SMH! I can’t! Is anybody faithful?
How would you have handled this situation? Would you have gone out with him? What soon to be divorcee wears their wedding ring out of “respect”?
Comment below! Email your relationship & bad date stories to firstname.lastname@example.org.
So, I met a really nice guy on a dating site. I wasn’t as physically attracted to him as he was to me, but his great qualities and height (6’4) allowed me to overlook his not so attractive face. Besides, I heard from a few friends that ugly men usually have great sex [lol Terrible I know!].
We went out on a couple of dates and all went well. We had a lot in common and were both looking for the same thing: a healthy relationship that would lead to marriage.
On the third date, I spent the night at his place. We kissed and he was pretty bad at it, but I didn’t let that deter me. Before we did the obvious, I decided to reach down below to feel what he was working with and, to my horror, I think my pinky finger was probably bigger than his penis.
Ok maybe I’m being a little sarcastic, but I will say that was my first time seeing such an incredibly small penis. Never would I have expected that from a tall black man. I was truly disappointed.
I still had sex with him because I felt obligated at that point since we were already kissing passionately and halfway undressed. I guess you can say I took one for the team. I should’ve said my period started or said something else that could’ve stopped it from happening. Anyway one minute later, he was done. Yep, he came. The whole experience was flat out bad.
THIS DATE IS OVER!
I was going to leave right after
that 60 seconds of displeasure, but I ended up sticking it out and staying until the following morning because I felt bad for him. Again, he was a great guy with great qualities, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to go on with him.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth because I didn’t want him to feel bad. So, I naturally became distant for the next few days…wasn’t reaching out to him and my level of interest obviously changed.
I finally got the nerve to tell him that I needed some space. I blamed it on myself and gave him reasons that had nothing to do with him. I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Fast forward months later and he still reaches out to me. I feel bad that I lost interest because, aside from the bad sex, he would’ve been a great catch. I just know that there’s no way I would ever be sexually satisfied with him. I hope he finds a woman that can deal with his very very small penis and horrible kisses. Unfortunately, that woman just couldn’t be me.
Great Qualities Aren’t Enough
If You Can’t F***
How would you have reacted in that situation? Would you have been able to have sex with him after seeing that his penis was so small? Should she have told him the truth? Should she have given him another try? Post your feedback below!
Submit your relationship drama & bad date stories at thisdateisover.com/submit or email@example.com.
So I’d been seeing this guy for a while and he asked me out on a dinner date. I liked him a whole hell of a lot so, of course, I accepted.
We had a fabulous time at the restaurant…the food was great, service spectacular, and the ambiance was just perfect. We couldn’t help but get caught up in the moment by holding hands, feeding each other, and sharing a kiss or two. It was just great! [My heart still flutters]
We decided to go to the liquor store before heading back to his place [I was staying the night] to continue the party over drinks and hookah. As we got up to leave the restaurant, my date misjudged his exit route from the table and completely spilled both of our water glasses all over his clothing and onto the floor. The commotion was a little loud and our table instantly became the center of attention. Fortunately, he had a good sense of humor and we both chuckled about his pants being drenched in water.
We picked up the alcohol from the liquor store and then headed to the grocery store so that I could grab some cherries and pineapple to add to our drinks because I was going to play bartender [I just had to be fancy]. Since my date was pushing the cart, I handed him the jar of cherries to add to the basket. Instead of him putting it securely at the bottom part of the cart, he placed the cherries at the top and guess what? The jar fell out of the cart and broke leaving cherry juice and glass scattered across the floor. [Holy sh*t man! Clean up on aisle 6!] I freaked out for half a second because the glass shattered close to my brand new shoes and I didn’t want the cherry juice to stain them [Yes, that was a semi-selfish move, but, hey, I really liked those shoes so what can I say? lol] He apologized for his overall clumsiness saying he was having an off night, so we grabbed a replacement jar of cherries, and finally went to his place to relax.
When we got to his place, we had an absolute ball…he loved the drinks I made, the hookah was great, followed by conversation, kissing, music, and dancing [Yes, we danced and it was so much fun!]. We decided to take the party up to his room and watch movies before going to bed. I let him know that I wanted to jump in the shower before getting in bed to wash the night’s funk off of my body.
Unexpectedly, my date hopped in the shower shortly after I got in [Well alright now! Didn’t know you were going to join me, but I’m down!] and we continued our kissing fest. This wasn’t our first time being intimate, so I welcomed the company. In my mind, this was going to be one of those hot and steamy shower scenes that you see in the movies [with the exception of me getting my hair wet….that I’m not down for. lol] and it started out that way. We were kissing, hugging, squeezing, caressing, etc. I mean it was about to go DOWN and then out of nowhere, this dude fell out of the shower. I repeat, HE FELL OUT OF THE SHOWER! [HOLY MOTHER F***N SH*T!!!]
THIS DATE IS OVER!
Technically, the date wasn’t truly over because I still liked the guy and it wasn’t a bad date, but trust and believe that every ounce of sexual energy was replaced with nonstop laughter at that moment. I laughed so hard that I couldn’t breathe and I think a little bit of pee came out too. The good thing is, my date was physically ok. He was not injured or anything like that, but nothing sexual occurred because I honestly could not stop laughing. I laughed myself to sleep and even woke up laughing the next day. Poor baby! I’m going to have to get my honey a helmet, gloves, and shower shoes.
How would you have reacted in that situation? Would you have been able to control your laughter? Post your feedback below!
Submit your relationship drama & bad date stories to firstname.lastname@example.org.
So, I met this guy on a dating app. We went out and he seemed like everything I could possibly hope for. I liked that he seemed goal-oriented, focused, and motivated. From our first date, he seemed like someone who knew what he wanted and was as tired of the dating scene as me.
We met in October and by Thanksgiving, I met his family. I was for sure that he was serious about me, but I started to notice and find strange things. I had trust issues from previous relationships, so I would periodically search his phone or around the house.
I saw that he was having inappropriate text conversations with other women and that there was also someone from his past who wouldn’t seem to leave him alone. I asked him several times to stop talking to her. He would say he stopped, but then I would always find out he was still talking to her.
I got pregnant three months in and I was scared because I knew it was way too soon and I was afraid that he wouldn’t want to deal with me anymore. I told him we could do this thing together or we could co-parent, but he swore I was the one for him…his true colors showed shortly thereafter.
He wanted me to get an abortion [The F*CK?] and I refused. I didn’t talk to him for a week until he showed up unannounced to apologize and with gifts. I assumed at that moment, he was completely onboard.
I moved in with him when I was 8 months pregnant, but things got worse and my pregnancy was tumultuous. We argued a lot and he didn’t really seem to be supportive. I started to find out that he was lying about a LOT of things from his job to having a degree to being in a fraternity.
I stopped by the well-known computer company where he told me he worked on my way home from the doctor to surprise him with the ultrasound pictures and the staff told me he didn’t work there. Upon further investigation [by way of him leaving his boss’s business card on the TV stand], I learned that he was a cellphone salesman at a kiosk in a store.
Lie #2 & #3
I’m a member of one of the “finer” sororities, so overtime I thought it was strange that I never heard of or met any of his line brothers although he met some of my sorors and attended my chapter functions. I also found his lack of photos and Greek paraphernalia to be rather odd, so I contacted the undergrad chapter where he claimed he pledged and they confirmed that there wasn’t a line during the year that he crossed.
When I confronted him about it, he finally admitted he wasn’t really in a fraternity although he claimed to have gone through a pledge process and that his line was dropped. [Dropped line = not Greek!] At that point, I figured he was lying about having a college degree, so I asked him that too. And as you can guess, he confirmed that he never graduated and didn’t have a degree.
Our son was born the following month and it continued to be a struggle. I started resenting him for all of the lying and the deceit, so the intimacy stopped. He didn’t help me much with our son and continued to go out until 2 or 3 in the morning. On the nights that he actually came home from work, he would just go to the basement and not do anything with our son. We started arguing about sex because we weren’t doing anything, but #1 my body was still trying to heal from giving birth, and #2 I resented him because of the lying and lack of help. I couldn’t respect or lay down with a man who lied to me all of the time and saw nothing wrong with it.
The Final Straw
One night I was talking to his sister about transitioning from the military. I told her I was adjusting financially and that it really helped that her brother and I were splitting the mortgage at his house. When I told her that, she was SHOCKED! As it turned out, he did NOT own the house as he initially told me and I was giving him money toward a mortgage that didn’t even exist. [I have no idea what he was doing with the money.]
According to his sister, the house was already paid for and it belonged to his grandmother who allowed him to stay there. When I confronted him about that, he tried to lie and say his grandmother charged him to live there. However, I confirmed with his grandmother and, as expected, he was lying.
date relationship is OVER!
As of Now
I have since moved out [four months after our son was born] and it has been a struggle to mend the broken pieces while trying to be a single mother because I don’t have any family nearby. The most challenging thing for me is moving past the anger and hurt I feel and also the fact that I never got an apology from him nor has he shown any true remorse. It’s almost as if he doesn’t even feel bad about it.
I haven’t seen my ex in four months and we haven’t spoken in about a month, so we’re not co-parenting well. He sees our son when he stops by his grandmother’s house because she takes care of our son while I’m at work. Other than that, he makes no real effort to spend time with our son. Since I am not from the area and have no family here, it’s really rough because my son is literally with me all of the time. I love him, but sometimes I need a break just to recharge. I am grateful, however, for my ex’s grandma who watches my son while I’m at work as well as his sister who will watch my son if I ask. Still, nothing beats your own family, and, hopefully, I can move closer to them soon.
Ladies, if someone seems to be too good to be true, it’s because he is!
The fool who fell for the Okie Doke