So I decided to take myself to brunch one Sunday at one of my favorite restaurants to get some work done. You know…kill two birds with one stone. Anyway as I was working on my laptop, I noticed this scruffy looking guy walking in my direction. I assumed he was going to a nearby table, but to my chagrin, he pulled up a chair RIGHT next to me. [F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are sooooo many open seats in this place. Why are you encroaching on my space?] I was not in the mood to entertain any form of conversation and continued to work on my laptop as if he wasn’t there, but this fella was completely oblivious to all of my non-verbal cues. Of course, I could’ve been rude and told him to F*** OFF, but there are a LOT of mentally unstable people roaming this earth and I didn’t know if he was one of them. Besides, it wouldn’t have been necessary anyway.
Him: I came here with one of my homeboys to help him with something. I noticed you when you came in and wanted to say hi.
Me: Ok. Hi! I came here to get some work done. [Continues to type on laptop]
Him: Are you from here?
Me: Yes, I am.
Him: I’m not from here, but I moved here from another state.
[Server comes over to us]
Server: What can I get for you?
Me: I’ll have the waffle platter.
Server: And you sir?
[I shake my head “no” profusely]
Him: I’m not having anything. Thanks.
[Server walks away]
Him: Well I’m going to be honest with you, I really came over here to talk to you because I recognized you from XYZ dating site and you are even more beautiful in person.
Me: Thank you. I haven’t been on that site in close to two years though.
Him: I used to send you messages all of the time, but you would never respond and I couldn’t understand why. Was it my pictures?
Probably.I don’t even remember you, so….[shrugs shoulders]
Him: Well I’d love to get to know you and take you out sometime. Do you think we could exchange numbers?
Me: Ummmm…No thanks. I’m really not interested.
Him: [His face is glowing with disappointment] Well it was nice to finally meet you in person.
This (non) Date Is OVER!
As this guy FINALLY walked away, I sat with a look of confusion and disdain. I was not understanding why he couldn’t seem to grasp the obvious: I was NOT interested! Not then. Not now. Not ever. What was the purpose of mentioning that he reached out to me several times two years ago on an online dating site to no avail? Did he really think that he was going to guilt-trip me into giving him my number? Did he not understand how creepy and desperate he looked? If a person ignores you online and doesn’t respond AT ALL to your advances, what makes you think that they are going to care for you in person? I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I did not find him the least bit attractive [How do you say that nicely to a person anyway without sounding harsh?], but then again in the words of the great JL, I don’t owe anyone an explanation.
At the same time, I have to give the man some credit for being that bold. I understand that sometimes you gotta just shoot your shot. He tried, but it just didn’t work out for him. I wish him the best though!
Please Go Away
How would you have handled the situation? Why do some people continue to pursue a person who does not reciprocate any form of interest? If you saw someone in public that never responded to your advances online, would you approach them?
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