So I matched with this guy on tinder, we exchanged numbers from there and he suggested that we meet for drinks. [Cool I love happy hour…right up my alley!] He asked me where I worked and I gave him some options to choose from that were close to me. We narrowed it down to a sports bar or a swanky Mexican joint…..he chose the sports bar.read more
We’ve rented the place out after hours so that we can have some good ole fun! So get your tickets, bring a friend or four, and let’s have some fun on Saturday, March 25th at 10:30pm at XP Laser Sport in Laurel, MD.
Order tickets at tagme.eventbrite.com.
So I was driving home from work and happened to be listening to the radio, which is super rare for me. I overheard a commercial for a comedy show that was happening that coming Friday at 8pm which was a couple of days away. [Holy sh*t! Why am I just now hearing about this show? Where have I been?] Anyway, I had my mind set on getting tickets because there were a lot of great acts on the lineup and I love me a good…read more
So I was on my way to Europe, but had a layover in New Jersey. On my layover flight, I was gonna tune everything out and plug in my headphones, but the guy next to me decided to strike up a conversation [mother f*****!] He was not at all my type from a physical standpoint (his head was MASSIVE and his shoes were all the way run over), but he was very cool and I’m always down to connect with new people. Anyway, we had the typical ‘where are you from, where are you going, what do you do’ conversation. He disclosed that he was a surgeon in New...read more
So I was at Bae’s house as per usual and we were cuddled up on his couch. We ate, drank, and watched a movie. Once the movie was over, I gave him that look….it was time to get it on. Kissing, hugging, sucking, you name it. It got so hot and heavy that we didn’t even make it to the bedroom. We started on the couch and then the dining room chair. He gave me everything! [I got mine and then some!] He took charge [just the way I like it] and led me to the living room floor where he bent me over and gave it to me like his life depended on it....read more
So I was headed to a Super Bowl party hosted by a group of fraternity brothers. A few days before the party, I got a call from a guy (let’s call him Lew Zer) that I had been out with a couple of months prior and he informed me that he’d also be at the Super Bowl party. Nothing happened between the two of us besides dinner because. Lew Zer blew me off for our second date and I stopped calling him after that. Because I overslept, I arrived to the Super Bowl party right before half-time and once I got into the house, it was absolutely packed...read more
So I was at a barbecue at my cousin’s house when a friend of hers, let’s call her Vicky, arrived with this cutie patootie baby boy who was about 6 months old. The baby was a little fussy and Vicky was having a hard time putting him to sleep. My cousin joked that since I had the biggest boobs in the bunch, I should try to put the baby to sleep. Vicky handed me the baby, I held the him against my bosom and just like that, he went to sleep. [What can I say? They’re real and they’re spectacular!] As a joke, I posted a picture of me holding the...read more
So I was drunk at a birthday party in NYC and this girl kept telling me how awesome her friend was…making him sound like such a good guy. You know, a “great on paper dude”….great job, smart and I don’t know…I was drunk. He showed up much later and in a bit of drunken desperation, Drunk Self (I) threw myself at him and we became friends. Drunk self, managed to give him ALL of my information: cell, home, FB, email, everything [Damn her!!]. The next morning he came back to the city and I really saw him. He was short and round. He’s Samwise. The...read more
So I was working at a law firm and made a trip downstairs to the convenience store located beneath the building. While there, I happened to lock eyes with an attractive, tall, dreadlocked man who was suited and booted for what appeared to be his day at the office. He approached, we exchanged numbers, and he asked me for dinner and drinks the following day. He seemed cool, but I wanted to be safe, so I chose a popular restaurant for us to meet where there would people that I knew. The day of our date, I washed my hair, straightened it,...read more
So I reconnected with a woman I met previously at a non-profit event via social media [Thank God for Facebook…Well in this case, I believe Satan was involved with this woman]. We began talking on the phone and, since everything seemed fine, I invited her on a museum date. Now I’m all for jokes and I absolutely love to laugh, but I know better than to be loud and obnoxious in a museum. This woman, let’s call her The Spitter, was so loud and ignorant in the museum [think loud speaker announcements in grade school] making all types of...read more