Ok so as a single 20 something, I get unsolicited advice from women on dating ALL. THE. TIME (-_-). It usually goes a little something like this “Bridge, Doesn’t running the street get old? Don’t you want to concentrate on one woman? Aren’t you ready to settle down?”
After my long…exasperated…sigh AND me telling them that I didn’t ask for this advice, I respond with “Those are 3 different questions LOOSELY based around the same concepts.” The majority of times I don’t address each question and how complex each one actually is. Well…here goes.
1. Yes. Yes it does. Running the streets gets to a point where its just as much work as it is fun. Sometimes more-so. But it is still and will ALWAYS be fun to most men to be desired by attractive members of the opposite sex. The majority of us (read overwhelmingly vast…like landslide victory vast) will never outgrow this. So dating/running the street is always going to happen until a man is married (and in some cases it even continues then). Why should it stop though? And what does stopping mean? If a man decides to stop being open to meeting new women and he doesn’t see the women he is currently involved with as potential long term partners, what does he do? Be lonely?
2. I don’t know that concentrating on one woman at a time is A) realistic or B) helps to find a man the right woman and faster than dating around until the right relationship materializes. I say its not realistic because I assume most fairly attractive and social people meet potential mates regularly (potential mates = people that at least from initial contact pass the superficial tests). The only way to discover whether or not this person is worth your time is to “date” them, right? I don’t know that meeting one potential, cutting every other person you may have been talking to off, and exclusively concentrating on that person will make you any better at finding “The One”. You’re at the luck of who you meet and you might actually cut off “The One” when you meet the next potential.
3. I don’t really know if, at least for a man, he HAS to be ready to settle down to actually settle down. I kind of treat dating like when its right it will be right. If the woman of my dreams and perfect woman walked into my life right this second, how would I know? I may have been dating the entire Redskins Cheerleading Squad and LOVING it before she came into my life but she would make me want to be with her and only her. Conversely, I could have already been dating the perfect woman for me and I haven’t realized it yet. Once I realize it then we settle down. Also…what are men who are “ready to settle down” supposed to be doing in their dating life? They meet women just like I meet women. Are they supposed to ignore them until the perfect woman presents herself? How do the “settlers” approach dating?
I know this is a long one but somebody shoot ya boy some answers in the comments
Bridge
One Comment
Nneamaka Ezekwe
I definitely agree with krisshawn in the above post. I’ve always been a fond believer in the statement “it’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen.” Nobody can rush fate. But I’ve also encountered situations similar to what you mentioned when guys felt like they missed out later on on somebody that they were dating previously because they weren’t ready to leave that lifestyle. They were having fun and felt like the gurl would stick around through it all but eventually she left him because she felt like she wasting her time and he wasn’t ready . Then months, maybe years later … The guy is looking shit-faced because he finally realizes what he let go was really in fact a diamond in the ruff figuratively speaking. He didn’t realize what he had until she was gone . This has happened to me in 80 percent of the relationships I’ve personally been in the past. And it’s nothing that can be said because either a) the girl has moved on b) she doesn’t trust you enough to get back with you because she’ll never forget the stuff you put her thru. I do feel that women have a certain level of maturity over guys in the same age category anyways, so I’ve always attested this to the fact that the guy the woman was messing with was just immature or not to the woman’s level. Which is perfectly fine, people mature at different stages but you always have to wonder about the gurl you missed out on because you were “out running the streets.”
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