So I met this girl online because I put up a post looking for a female promoter. I invited her to come to the club one night so that she could check out the event. When I arrived at the club, she was already intoxicated with one of her girlfriends and then she proceeded to follow me around. We danced a few times and at the end of the night, she became so belligerent that she started to curse out some of my friends and even pushed one of the girls in my section. After the debacle, her and her friend left in a taxi and that’s the first and last time that I ever saw this chick.

Three weeks went by and I got a missed call from the belligerent chick. I texted her back to see what was up but she called me back immediately. So I answered to see what the hell she wanted.

Her: Are you around anybody

Me: “No. Why?”

Her: I have something to tell you

Me: Why? What’s up?

Her: I’m pregnant

Me: [Insert incessant laughter] Huh, what are you talking about?

Her: I got pregnant

Me: Why you telling me for?

Her: You sure we didn’t do nothing at the party?

Me: Nah, we ain’t do shit.

Her: We didn’t even kiss?

Me: No. We might have danced one or two times, but that’s about it.