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Birthday Surprise

So I moved from DC to Las Vegas and on the way I came across a few major unexpected expenses, on top of the fact that my position didn’t start for almost another 2 weeks. Needless to say, my money was extremely TIGHT.

I had been rapping to this chick I met during my last visit to Vegas and I called her as soon as I got back in town. Coincidentally, my birthday was exactly one week from the day that I returned. So, we talked about what I was gonna do and I pretty much told her I was gonna chill because my money was jigh [translation: kind of] funny. In the mean time, she came over twice before my birthday and we smashed [translation: had sex].

On the morning of my birthday, she called me from work and the first thing she said was “Italian or Mexican?” and I was like “What? What you talking about?” She said “Listen just choose one” and I said “Uhmm shit I don’t know….Italian.”

She called me like around 8pm and said “Meet me at the Red Rock Casino.” When I showed up, she had a card and some cupcakes and said “Ok what you wanna do first? Eat or go gamble?” I was hungry, so I wanted to eat. Even though I had been cranking slim [translation: having regular sexual relations with her], I was surprised she was trying take me out and what not. But for some reason, something told me to order some short sh*t….no appetizers or drink or nothing.

It was time for us to leave and since she asked me out AND I had already told this broad that I was just gonna chill on my birthday, I was under the impression that she was paying. So I walked off so she could take care of the bill. 10 minutes went by and I walked back into the restaurant and the waitress and my date were looking at me and the waitress said to me “Cash or Charge sir?” I was like WTF?!?! The waitress said “Yeah she told me separate checks”. 0_0

My bill was $26.80 and all I had was $28 dollars. So my face got TIGHT immediately!!! I gave the waitress the money and she rolled her eyes because she only got $1 tip. I would’ve went in on ole girl [translation: had heated words with my date] but I was too embarrassed to even have that conversation in front of two other females since the manager came over too.

So we went outside and my date said:

“What’s wrong? Why you looks so mad?”

I said ”Bitch didn’t I tell you my money was tight and I wasn’t doing shit for my birthday!!!! Why the fuck did you invite me out to dinner on MY BIRTHDAY and expect me to pay when I told you what was up??? Man I could crack your fucking jaw right now! Do you know how embarrassed I am right now??”

My date said “Oh my bad I thought you were lying”

I stared at this broad like she was crazy and told her “First off who the fuck are you that I need to lie to?? And regardless, this was your move. I didn’t ask you to come here. We didn’t agree to go out to dinner. This was your idea. You asked me to come here.

To make a long story short she said “Let’s go back to your place and I’ll make it up to you.” I said “Nah I’m good on that but you take care though” and I bounced.

Sincerely,
Death Before Dishonor

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