Cookies

So one of my guy friends was in town celebrating his birthday. We know each other from Greek events and spoke about 3 or 4 times a year. Anyway, he was having a birthday party at a nearby lounge, but I was unable to attend because I had a previous engagement and wasn’t made aware of his shindig until the very last minute [2 days prior]. Since I wasn’t able to go to his party, the plan was to meet up for brunch the next day before he hit the road.

We got together for brunch and I was a little salty because this dude was an hour late [Come on dude, I have things to do AND I’m hungry and when I’m hungry, it’s not pretty!], but I tried not to hold it against him too much since it was his birthday and I’m certain he got hammered the night before.

We wrapped up brunch and as we were leaving the restaurant, it dawned on me that I had some chocolate cookies in my car from the night before. I had worked an event on the night of his party, which is why I couldn’t attend, and the hostess gave me and some of the other ladies a box of specialty chocolate cookies. I do NOT like chocolate, but I accepted the cookies anyway because I didn’t want to have the “OMG I can’t believe you don’t eat chocolate” conversation.

Anyway back to the story, since I don’t eat chocolate and didn’t want the cookies to go to waste [i.e. my trashcan], I thought it would be a nice idea to give them to the birthday boy. [Yes, I regifted the cookies…sue me!], I gave him the box of cookies [which happened to be packaged with nice bows and just waiting to be re-gifted lol] we hugged, and then parted ways.

Well apparently this guy REALLY loved the cookies because he sent me one of the most bizarrely, inappropriate text messages I have ever received on the very next day.

I called him on the phone because I had zero desire to continue to text back and forth because, as you can see, this dude likes to send 3,000 character text messages and I just don’t have the time nor patience to read that sh*t.

Like he did in his text message, he tried to flip the situation on me and was shocked by my reply by insinuating that I had an attitude or had to have been having a bad day because there was nothing wrong with what he said in his opinion. [As if his bullsh*t messages to me warranted some sort of favorable response. GTFOH you f**ktard!] I reminded him that he and I have NEVER had any type of relationship beyond a long-distance, “are you going to homecoming”, “when is the next cookout” friendship and that I will not tolerate his disrespect. He went on to say that he’s just being him and he doesn’t finesse his words for anyone. So I asked him to tell me the last time he told his mother that her cooking made his d*ck hard, yet he didn’t seem to have an answer for that one. I’m certain he doesn’t express his food induced erections with his male friends either.

This Date Is OVER….even though we were not at all dating.

I understand the whole friends becoming lovers mantra [although he was not at all considered a candidate in my eyes], but why the need to push the envelope so far by being a total jackass? If he had one ounce of a chance of getting with me, he completely blew it with his arrogance and stupidity. All he had to do was say “Thank you for the cookies.” Is that really so hard? [No pun intended!]

Sincerely,

What Happened To Respect?