Long Distance, No Date

So I met a young lady named Tara in December 2015 at my college alma mater’s football bowl game. She was poised, beautiful, and seemed to be fun, but, most of all, she was a sports fan! I was elated. We had great conversation during and after the game. We disclosed that neither of us lived in the local vicinity of the game: she lives in Texas and I live in the Washington, DC metropolitan area. We, of course, exchanged numbers.

From day one, we would talk everyday for extended times either via text and/or phone call and occasionally via Skype. I found out Tara is 5 years my senior [not that it matters], no kids, and never been married. [JACKPOT!!]

During our talks, we discussed everything from politics, religion, sports, and hobbies. We discussed careers in depth because both of us were considering career changes.

So in mid-January during a conversation, Tara mentioned that her birthday was approaching the 1st week in February. She was making plans to spend time with her girlfriends and travel for her 40th birthday. She and I then began discussing the next time we would see each other. I asked her, ”when would you like to or how soon?” She replied, “Let me check my calendar.”

We confirmed that she would come to visit the weekend before President’s day, but she alerted me that she would not be comfortable staying at my house because this would technically be our 1st date and 1st time spending time alone. I was fine with that as long as she wasn’t expecting me to foot the bill for her lodging. I was actually trying to get to know her and not just smash and dash. She sent me her hotel reservation confirmation and I purchased her plane ticket.

On her birthday during the first week of February, I sent a large bouquet of flowers to her office as a surprise. I figured it was the least I could do since I knew she hated her job and I was really digging her… so it was nothing. She called me after work excited like it was Christmas about her birthday gift.

Tara expressed her excitement about our time together quickly approaching. She did some research and told me what she was interested in seeing while here. I began planning activities for us to do because she’d never been to DC. I planned for tours, different food spots, and also purchased tickets to the show of an artist that she really liked. I even made dinner reservations for that night. Besides it was Valentine’s Day weekend.

Now here is the kicker….

I knew she was away on travel with her girls. I could see the pictures because she added me on IG…and she flooded the newsfeed for a week. But during that time I made it my business not to disturb her. Besides, I was about to see her next week, right?

WRONG!!!

Tara was scheduled to fly in on February 12th, so I started contacting her February 9th to finalize the plans….and RADIO SILENCE. So I waited until the day of proposed travel. STILL NOTHING….The day she was scheduled to fly, I called and cancelled the ticket and got a refund on the flight by paying a cancellation fee. I was able to cancel every plan but not able to recoup the tickets for the show. I attended the show with a good friend of mine who happened be available [she didn’t have her kids and was home bored]. Whew! Thank goodness for the last minute save.

FAST FORWARD….

On February 26th, I woke to find a long text message from Tara. [Two weeks later??] She wanted to apologize for not being upfront with me and not letting me know that she wasn’t coming to visit. She said, “It was such a hard decision for me especially since you were such a gentleman and you were very sweet to me. Unfortunately, I don’t want to do the long distance thing. But instead of voicing my concerns to you, I took the easy way out and, for that, I apologize.”

Tara went from an asset to a liability all because she failed to communicate. But looking back, she still took the easy way out by texting me overnight because she knew I my phone is always on do not disturb at night. In this case, a phone call and NOT a text would have been appreciated.

Sincerely,

And that’s what I get for being nice…