Fall

So  I was out joyriding one afternoon with one of my girlfriends when our ride came to a complete STOP. Why? Because there was construction taking place on the road. Of course, I was cussing and fussing about the snail’s pace in which we were moving to reach our destination, but then I happened to look to my left and that’s when I saw this beautiful specimen of a man staring back at me. I smiled and my girlfriend encouraged me to talk to him. I didn’t want to because I don’t normally approach men (I’m kinda shy), but I took her advice and built up the nerve to ask for his number. He obliged.  I called him a few days later [figured I’d give it some time so that I wouldn’t look pressed] and we talked on the phone. On top of him being very handsome, he was pretty cool, and I learned that he was from Puerto Rico [HEY PAPI!].

I was out running errands one day and he called me asking me out on a movie date. I accepted [rookie mistake….movie dates are a no-no in my opinion for a first date] and agreed to pick him up since I was already on the road.

Fast forward to the movie.

 

We were halfway through the movie and out of nowhere this guy grabbed me and demanded, in Spanish, that I give him a kiss. “Dame un besito mami!  Dame un besito mami!  Come on baby!”  I was in complete shock because he was loud, it was unwarranted, and he was interrupting the damn movie. I pushed him off of me and told him to stop, but he was relentless like a teenager with raging hormones. So I grabbed his hand with a kung fu grip and said:

 

Me: What the hell is wrong with you? Like seriously?Just stop it already! I’m trying to watch the movie and you are being too damn loud.

Him: I’m sorry Mami, but you look so good. 

Me: Now is not the time. Will you please be quiet?

Him: Ok Mami. I’m sorry.

 

This Date Is OVER!

 

The movie ended and I was ready to get the hell away from this dude because he was annoying the entire sh*t out of me. My plan was to make a grand exit, i.e. ditch the guy, and speed walk into darkness [my speed walking skills are out of this world. I’m just saying. lol]; however, something unexpected happened: parts of the ground disappeared. [Huh?] Yes, pieces of the ground were GONE and I completely lost my footing. My life flashed before me as my face was planning to make a HARD introduction with the uneven pavement. Apparently, there was construction going on outside of the theater and in my haste to leave, I didn’t notice that some of the pavement was removed, the caution signs, nor the big ass ditch until it was too late. [SMH! Damn it man!]

Fortunately for me, Mr. Kissy Face caught me saving my face from any action with the pavement. Fortunately for him because of him catching me and breaking my fall, I was kind enough to give his ass a ride home. Lol!

 

A word to the wise if you are planning to storm off and leave someone behind, make certain your path is clear. LOL!

 

Sincerely,

 

I Hurt My Damn Ankle That Night…Oh and my pride too! lol 

 

What would you do in this situation? What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? Share your bad date stories at www.thisdateisover.com.

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