So I’ve been in the house for a while because I broke my hand and it’s in a cast. A nice young woman calls and says “since you cant cook for yourself, I wanna take you to dinner” [she’s making me explode in my pants! SCORE!].
This is the third date. I’m liking this chick. She has an amazing way with words, makes me feel great and looks great. She told me the theme for the night (IKR?) would be ‘The Nurse Is In’ [ummm okay].
She gets to my house 3 hours late and this chick walks in the door wearing a hideous animal print maxi dress. Since I don’t know much about women’s fashion, I was unsure when it became stylish to look like The Muppets Visit The Zoo? And to make the outfit more “fierce” [fierce to her and her only], she had red mop of a wig/weave on her head which inspired me to ask her to mop my floor.
So after this chick mops my floor in her 5 inch heels, we head to a restaurant in Little Italy. Good food and convo. The bill comes and the total was $147 and she says in a joking manner “so you know this means you gotta give it up tonight?” Her timing and delivery were great so I chuckled at the funny joke.
We drive off in my car and she starts caressing the gearshift…Stroking it, squeezing it. I started to feel a little uncomfortable that she might accidentally slip it into neutral. So I say “be careful with that thing”, and she replies, “I’m going to take good care of it” as if we were no longer talking about the vehicle.
We pull up to my house and she asks if she can use my restroom before she gets on the road to go home. I oblige, so she goes into the bathroom and I wait at my front door for her to return since I figured she wouldn’t be but a couple of minutes. 5 minutes later I go check on her and I hear the shower running? [What in thee hell!] I bang on the door and ask “Are you ok?” I’m thinking, maybe she sharted and needed to freshen up.
To my surprise, she emerges from the bathroom with a nurse’s uniform on, and I’m like WTH? Completely caught me off guard.
This girl starts dancing and my first instinct is to snap a pic because the fellas are gonna fall out when they hear about this one. [If she had more rhythm, she could have passed for a stripper, instead of the apartment leasing agent that she is.]
She begins to take off her uniform and I realize she is gonna ask for a copay and it ain’t gonna be $20. Before it got out of control, I abruptly end the date and escort the nurse to the door.
Signed,
You gotta buy me more than spaghetti to get my meatballs
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