Grow Up

So I’ve known this guy for quite a few years and we would link up sporadically for drinks and a fun time [Not sex, but an actual fun time outside of the bedroom. Hello! That actually happens you know.] This one time a while back we went out, got super drunk, and made out in his car….that was the first time I experienced the penis [dun dun dun].

The Plot Thickens, But Not His Penis
When I felt it, it felt like a pencil, but I thought to myself “this can’t be real”, so I fondled him some more to make sure that was his penis…this dude didn’t even stop me or anything. Once I figured out that it was in fact his penis, I told him that I needed him to take me home.

We continued to go out every once in a while, but I made it clear to him that his d*ck was too small there were no romantic feelings and that the previous encounter was simply a drunken hook up.

Fast Forward Two Years
He called me one night out of the blue letting me know he was in my area and asked to come by. I genuinely thought about it since a couple of years had gone by since we had last seen each other. I decided “what the hell” and let him come over because perhaps his penis wasn’t all the way hard the first time around and maybe, just maybe, he had gotten a penile implant by now.

Fast Forward To The Make Out Session
We made out and something told me to “grab it”, but I didn’t want to out of fear of being disappointed again.  That’s when he forced me to touch it by grabbing my hand and pulling it towards his penis. I took a deep breath and went palm in…utter disappointment once again. It was that same d*ck penis from the 90’s.

This Date Is OVER

To make matters worse, I sat up and actually looked at it thinking to myself “come on man! you’re a grown man!!!!” Low and behold it was a number 2 pencil surrounded by a massive amount of pubes. [Barf!] I asked him to leave after that.

Fast Forward To Now
Basically, he pops up every now and again, but I keep it polite out of respect for his feelings. However, he’s starting to get a little carried away by asking me to have his children. He’s a great person, has a great personality, great teeth, not bad on the eyes…all around great guy, but I will not allow him to pluck my vagina with that tiny penis.

How do I tell him in a nice way that his penis needs to grow up?

Sincerely,

You Have To Be This Tall To Ride This Ride

What would you do if you were in this situation? How do you gently tell a man that size is an issue? Do you just cut him off altogether or settle for the small penis since he has other great qualities? Share your thoughts and feedback below!

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