Mr. Military

So I met this guy and my goodness he was every ounce of fine: tall, VERY chiseled, extremely handsome, and he could dress his behind OFF. Anyway, we got together one afternoon for lunch and a movie. Things went rather well, but I had to cut our time short because I had to get ready for work since I had the evening shift. He gave me a goodbye kiss and it was just perfect. [Oh me oh my! Could he be my next….hmmmmmmm? Calm down. It was just one date. lol]

Anyway, we kept in contact as often as his schedule would permit. He was in the military with a very demanding position, so it was hit or miss between us. We tried to get together on a few occasions, but he’d always cancel plans in the 11th hour because of work. After learning the demands of his position and finding out that he would be on travel for a large portion of the year (and perhaps years to come), I decided to fall back from attempting to have any formal courtship with Mr. Military. We naturally lost touch.

He called me one day out of the blue and I was pleasantly surprised to hear from him. We exchanged niceties and caught up on a few things. After all, it had been a few weeks since we had spoken. He expressed that he wanted us to spend more time together and get to know each other on a deeper level. I shared with him that although I did like him very much, unfortunately, I did not have those same desires. I let him know that the demands of his job would not work for me and that I didn’t want to start something when I knew in my heart of hearts that I was not cut out for the inconsistencies and distance that his job would bring to a potential relationship. I informed him that my love languages were quality time and physical touch and with him constantly having to cancel our plans on top of him being scheduled to be GONE for a significant part of the year, I simply didn’t have the capacity nor fortitude to deal.

I was hoping that he would’ve taken my comments in stride….he didn’t. He FLIPPED!

Him: Oh! I see how it is. YOU MUST WANT YOU SOME BUM ASS N*GGA! I swear you women are a trip. Here I am working to serve my country and that’s not even good enough. You’d rather have some bum ass n*gga who doesn’t work playing [insert video game system] and sitting on your couch!

Me: Excuse me? You’re being quite extreme. First of all, I never said any of that. I respect what you do to serve our country. I’m just letting you know that I’m not cut of out for this. I am not prepared to be a military wife, girlfriend, spouse or what have you. I can’t speak for you and what you do, but I’m an expert on me and I know what my needs are. You cannot meet those needs if you are not available.

This Date Is OVER!

I didn’t speak to Mr. Military much after that. Although I could understand his frustration because I’m certain it’s very difficult to actively serve in the military and attempt to date or have a relationship; however, I didn’t appreciate him having a tantrum of sorts for me expressing that I didn’t want to pursue anything further. I mean, we only had one date anyway (since all of the others got cancelled…by him!), so why the attitude?

Sincerely,

I’m Not About That Life

P.S. And for the record, fellas, just because a woman tells you she doesn’t want to date you does NOT mean that she wants some good for nothing vagabond. It simply means that she doesn’t want YOU. Learn to take rejection in stride especially when someone is being (respectfully) honest with you.