Pootie Tang

So I met this girl online and we talked for a while. Eventually, we decided to have our first meetup at restaurant for dinner.

The Meetup…

When I arrived and in spite of all of the GREAT pictures she had online, this chick looked quite BUSTED. She had on a long puffy coat with absolutely no shape that looked like a damn sleeping bag. She was probably like a size 8, but had on a shirt that could fit a defensive lineman.

Photo credits: Lineman & Jeans

As I scrolled down, I noticed she was wearing regular jeans with ZERO style and running shoes that apparently went running without her. AND her hair looked as if she just got out of bed. [SMH]

Photo Credits: http://www.inquisitr.com/419295/man-wins-lawsuit-against-wife-for-birthing-ugly-baby/

In spite of her lackluster appearance, I stayed to enjoy dinner [since I’m not very shallow and try to get to know the person]. We were having a pretty good conversation until, for some odd reason, she got really quiet. We sat there in silence until she blurted out “Oops! I pooted!” [ What the? #1 Who farts at the dinner table? #2 Who farts at the dinner table AND then brings attention to it?]

This date is OVER!

Fortunately, I didn’t smell anything; however, we never went out again.

Sincerely,

Still Single

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