So, I’ve jumped on the bandwagon with regard to this Ray Rice situation [as if you aren’t sick of talking, hearing, or reading about it]. Being the non-expert dater that I am who happens to blog about dating and relationships, I’ve been asked my opinion….Like to hear it? Here it go! [Google Calhoun Tubbs if you don’t understand that last reference.]
Anyway, I have mixed emotions about the whole situation. I was shocked and appalled after having watched the newly released footage and my heart truly aches for the victim: the newlywed, Mrs. Rice. Not only did she have to literally endure the knockdown, drag out brawl at the hands of her now husband, but now she has to continue to relive the embarrassment of that dreadful night along with heaps of scrutiny in the court of public opinion.
I think what Ray Rice did was absolutely terrible and shameful, but at the same time, is his marriage really my business? If his wife has chosen to forgive him and try to move on, why should I hold him to a different standard? Now, I’m not at all saying that we should turn a blind eye to domestic violence or that she should have proceeded with marriage, but since you and I are not close personal friends or family with him or his wife, what can we do to positively assist this couple besides offer words of encouragement, lift them up in prayer, or simply leave them alone?
This may come as a surprise to some of you [and I mean this with sincere sarcasm], but people make mistakes. We all have skeletons and should be VERY grateful that they aren’t put on this level of a display for us to lose our jobs or livelihood. Imagine if your employers were privy to every mishap you’ve made in your personal relationships. You probably wouldn’t like that. If you surveyed your coworkers, hell even your own family [although in reality, no one would probably take the damn survey or give honest answers, but work with me here], I’m certain you’d learn that a lot of them have done some f**ked up sh** inappropriate or downright nasty things to their past and/or present partners/spouses.
So where am I going with this? I don’t know, but I’ll land the plane by saying this. We all have choices and unfortunately, Ray Rice made the very wrong choice and should suffer the consequences for his deplorable actions in my opinion. So what will you choose to do as a result of this situation? Will you choose to continue to judge and further victimize the victim by calling her stupid, dumb, or questioning why she married him? Will you choose to take a stand against domestic violence or all violence for that matter? Will you choose to take a stand against reality shows or refrain from flooding social media timelines with YouTube or Worldstar videos riddled with real life violence? [Was I reaching with that last question?] Will you choose to be a listening ear or support system and offer encouragement to victims of domestic violence?
Ok. I’m rambling.
Well, I do hope for the best for Mrs. Rice and pray that she gets what she needs to heal, move forward, and overcome this tragedy. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence and in need of support, please visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s webpage at www.thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Sincerely,
Miss Marie
The NON-Expert Dater
Question: If a drug or alcohol abuser can be rehabilitated, does that same theory apply to someone who has been physically abusive? Can a physical abuser be rehabilitated? Post your comments below or on our Questions page.
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