• The Blog

    Goodbye Nurse!

    So I’ve been in the house for a while because I broke my hand and it’s in a cast. A nice young woman calls and says “since you cant cook for yourself, I wanna take you to dinner” [she’s making me explode in my pants! SCORE!]. This is the third date. I’m liking this chick. She has an amazing way with words, makes me feel great and looks great.  She told me the theme for the night (IKR?) would be ‘The Nurse Is In’ [ummm okay]. She gets to my house 3 hours late and this chick walks in the door wearing a hideous animal print maxi dress. Since I don’t…

  • The Blog

    Waste of Time

    So my friend is at the mall and runs into this chick from back in the day. She asks about me. I tell my friend to give me her number so we can chat. I chat on the phone with her and she says ‘lets do lunch’. I oblige and start to make my way downtown. Almost there, I call and ask ‘where would you like to  meet?’ She responds ‘I’m not driving right now so I need you to pick me up’. Against my better judgment, I comply. I approach her house and there is a Do Not Enter sign on the street. Just like with any One-Way street,…

  • The Blog

    Bang Bang!

    So I was briefly seeing this guy and damn he was fine. When I say this man was fine, I mean the boy was FINE! He was tall (about 6’4), dark, and had a smile full of pearly white teeth that could stop you in your tracks. [*Fanning Self*] Back to the regularly scheduled program… So, we’re back at the penthouse (my place) watching TV, exchanging a little kissy face, and I got up to fix us both a glass of wine to further set the mood. As I’m in the kitchen, I heard a series of explosions and thought to myself “someone’s bad @$$ kid is letting off some…

  • The Blog

    Oh Sh!t

    So I went to dinner with a guy that I had been seeing for a month or so. I wasn’t really into spicy food at that time, but was so hungry that I inhaled everything on my plate. After dinner, we go back to his place and it starts to get hot and heavy….kissing, caressing…But all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The butterflies and excitement that I thought I was feeling was actually my stomach telling me to get up RIGHT NOW and make a mad dash to the bathroom. I tried to ignore it, but the pain got stronger and stronger until I…

  • The Blog

    MY Doggy Bag…Really?

    So I’m going out to dinner with a guy that I had been talking to for a few weeks. The date started off kind of rocky because as we arrived to the restaurant, he walked in front of me without holding the door [OH HELL NO! Definitely NOT the gentleman that I expected].  At that point, my blood began to boil because I do believe in chivalry, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. So, I waited outside of the restaurant for him to realize that he needed to correct that huge mistake.  He came outside and asked me why I didn’t come inside and I…

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