Unhappy Birthday

So I had been with this guy for 7 months and we decided to go to Miami for my birthday. I was excited because this was our first trip together and I just knew that we would have such a wonderful time. Before we left, he was saying that his money was tight and that he couldn’t go overboard on the trip. [My man, didn’t you know that we were planning to go here ahead of time? Why didn’t you save some money, especially when your salary trumps mine and then some?] He didn’t pay for my flight or hotel expenses, so I was unclear as to how he was so “broke”, but I didn’t press the issue.

We arrived, checked into our hotel, and headed to the bar to meet his friend Lisa from high school who happened to be living in South Beach at the time. I wasn’t pressed to drink because I knew my man was having money issues. I wanted to spend my money on doing a little birthday shopping in some of the South Beach boutiques and, besides, the liquor stores were open and I was perfectly content with getting a bottle and partying in our room [YA DIG!]. Lol

Lisa was at the bar with a couple, Kevin and Amy [very cool couple by the way], and they were taking shots of black tequila. Apparently it was Coffee Patron and I had never had any at that time. So to break us in, Kevin bought my man and me a round of shots. That sh*t was disgusting! lol My man actually liked it and he took a few more shots with the couple and Lisa. I guess my man felt obligated to return the favor, so he decided that he would showboat by ordering everyone rounds and rounds of liquor.
The bill came and it was well over $100 and, immediately, my man whipped out his credit card. I’m thinking to myself “What the f*** are you doing? Didn’t you say you didn’t have any money? So why the f*** are you buying these people all of this liquor?”
I looked at him with complete shock and before I could utter a word, he said “It’s cool. I got it.” [Ummm okay…if you say so.]
The next day arrived and guess what? It was my birthday!!!! Yay!!!! I woke up with a little pep in my step because I was blessed to see another year and my man gave me a cute little silver heart necklace for my special day [How sweet!]. He and I got dressed, hopped in the rental car, and drove to one of my favorite little diners off the beaten path. Breakfast was delicious as expected and I knew the day was only going to get better, but then the bill came and EVERYTHING went downhill. The bill was all of $17 for the both of us and my man looked at me and said:

Him: I ain’t got it
Me: Ha ha! Stop playing.
Him: Nah, I’m serious. I told you I didn’t have any money before we came out here.
Me: Hold up hold up! Last night you were acting like P. Diddy at the bar spending over a hundred dollars buying strangers rounds and rounds of drinks and now you’re telling me that you all of a sudden don’t have any money for a $17 tab on MY BIRTHDAY?
Him: I told you my situation before the trip.
Me: It’s funny how your “situation” only applies to me your girlfriend and not some damn strangers. The purpose of coming here in the first place was to celebrate my birthday and this is how you treat me? You look out for strangers and not your own woman and can’t pay $17 for a meal? That’s messed up.

So I got up, threw $20 on the table, and walked out. I. was. PISSED. He came out behind me and he was even more pissed. On the way back to hotel, he told me that I embarrassed him, how could I do that, and blah blah blah, but I didn’t care.

Him: You didn’t have to leave me in the restaurant like that.
Me: You didn’t have to leave me hanging like that on my birthday. You should’ve planned better. If it was your birthday, I wouldn’t be spending money frivolously on other people and completely neglect you on your special day.
Him: I already told you I didn’t have any money though!
Me: I don’t care what you said. Your actions proved otherwise. You know what? I’m done with this conversation because I want to enjoy the rest of my birthday. Let’s just drop it.

He kept running his damn mouth anyways and I just didn’t want to hear it. So, I turned on the radio. This dude yanked my hand with the Kung Fu grip, pushed it away [all while driving by the way], and told me to “Get the f*ck off the radio!” and “I don’t give a f*ck if it’s your birthday. You’re going to listen to me.” Would you believe that this dude cursed me out the entire ride back to the hotel? [Smh!]

This date relationship is OVER!

Sadly, the trip did not end at that point. I should’ve just packed my bags and got the hell out of there, but stupid me, I stayed. I was so hurt and shocked that I completely shut down for the rest of the trip. I kept my distance and ignored him for the most part. Of course, I could’ve handled things better at the restaurant, but the bottom line in my eyes was that he should’ve looked out for me on my birthday. Don’t spend over $100 on complete strangers when you claim you can’t afford to spend $17 on your own woman.

When the trip ended and we got back home, I broke up with him. Unfortunately, I fell for his sobbing, tearful apology a few weeks later and we got back together. Too bad I didn’t pay close enough attention to his abusive nature during our trip to Miami because that was not the last of his violent behavior. Tisk, tisk, tisk.

Sincerely,

Young, Dumb and In Love

Abuse is NOT ok. If you or someone you know is being abused, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

What would you have done in this situation? How would you have handled it? Did she overreact? Were his actions warranted or was he crazy?