3am Calls

So I was bar hopping with one of my girlfriends and just so happened to be sitting next to a group of guys at the 2nd bar we visited. Of course, the ugly one less attractive one decided to scoot his chair closer to mine to talk to me [get away from me you gargoyle!].

I quickly informed this gentleman that I was actually checking out his [more attractive] friend and, fortunately, he was nice enough to switch seats so that I could get closer to said friend. [HALLELUJAH!]

We had great conversation and I was really feeling this guy (the cute one). As the night drew to a close, the cute friend asked for my number and of course I gave it to him.

A couple of weeks went by and I had pretty much forgotten about the cute guy from the bar because he never called, so I thought, and I just assumed he wasn’t interested….UNTIL I noticed an unfamiliar number on my phone several nights in a row at around 3am each night. [Who the eff is blowing my phone up at some damn 3am?]

I went through my mental rolodex to try to figure out who I needed to curse out for calling me at some 3 o’clock in the morning on multiple occasions, but I had no clue who it could be because the person never left a message. [I don’t do phone calls in the wee hours of the morning if A) I don’t know you like that and B) it’s not an emergency. GTFOHWTBS!]

Anyway, I decided to go out on a limb and Googled the number to get some answers and, surprisingly, a name came up. It was the cute guy from the bar! Yay he finally called, but why the eff was he calling me so damn late?

So once I figured out who it was, I did what most “normal” folks do nowadays: I looked him up on Facebook and guess what? I found him!!!!!!! He was looking just as fine as I remembered him to be at the bar, but there was only one problem….THIS MOTHER F****R WAS ENGAGED! FMYLife! His profile picture was of him and his fiance and it even said “Engaged to [fill in the blank]” on his page.

AIN’T THAT SOME SH*T!