Drive My Car?

So a lot of men claim that they want a “ride or die chick” and apparently I don’t quite know what that means because I’m in a bit of a quandary.

Let me give you the back story…

My boyfriend of 1.5 years has a lot of bad luck when it comes to cars or, in other words, he can’t get his sh** together…in my opinion.  He’s great in a LOT of ways, but not with cars/driving.

A couple of months ago, he let his insurance lapse. [Way to go man!]  I wasn’t aware of this until he got pulled over by the police while we were leaving dinner because he did a rolling stop. [Sh**!]  I assumed that the police officer was going to just give  him a warning or a minor ticket.  NOPE! He ordered us both to exit the vehicle [not at gunpoint or anything like that…thank God!], removed the license plates, and informed us that the car would be towed to his home parking lot due to lack of insurance. [F***!]

We were both pissed because we felt the police were being UBER petty by not letting him drive the car home which caused him to spend $100+ to be towed only three blocks [Yes, we were all of three blocks away from his house and had to pay to get his car towed…smh].

I have two cars – my day to day car and my weekend cruiser – and, as expected although deep down I hoped he wouldn’t, he asked to borrow one. I declined because I’m VERY sensitive about my vehicles and RARELY allow anyone outside of my mom drive my car.  People get very reckless with other people’s property and I have a VERY hard time being (inadvertently) held responsible for other people’s irresponsibility.  It’s not my fault that he didn’t pay his insurance nor is it my fault that he ran the stop sign and got pulled over.

He was pissed that I didn’t let him use one of my cars and I kind of didn’t care because we were going through a rough patch and the dinner we just had was him trying to make up for some major screw ups on his part.  However, I wasn’t going to completely leave him hanging, so I offered to drive him where he needed to go and I did until he got everything straightened out with the DMV and his insurance.  Three or so days later, he was back in business. [Woo hoo!]

Eventually, I stepped out of my comfort zone and started allowing him to drive my car and even added him to my car insurance to be on the safe side, but that was short-lived because he wasn’t holding down his financial part of the bargain with the insurance, almost had a few accidents in my car while I was in the passenger seat because he was driving like a damn maniac, and he was negligent with filling up my gas tank after driving my car around.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago….

I drove to his house to meet him so that we could go to an event. I hopped in his car because he wanted to drive and shortly thereafter, we were in bumper to bumper traffic. I was reading something on my phone and POW! This dude slammed into the back of the car in front of us because he was texting. [You cannot be serious!] He looked at me and said “Why didn’t you say something?” as if it was my fault that he rear ended the car. I could feel the fire coming out of my nose, but spared him the “well you should’ve kept your damn eyes on the road” conversation and simply said “I wasn’t paying attention.”  [Why the hell are you questioning me about the accident like it was my damn fault?] Fortunately, no one was hurt, but the front of his car was F***ED UP badly damaged.

So for the second time and to my chagrin, he asked to borrow one of my cars and again, I declined.  I told him that I would take him to where he needed to go and that we could carpool since his job was on the way to my office, but that wasn’t good enough.  He went on this tirade about me not supporting him and said that I’m not “ride or die.” [What the f*** does that even mean?]

Me: How can you say that I don’t support you when I’m offering to take you to where you need to go?
Him: You have two cars…I’m your man and you should let me use one of them.
Me: You know how I feel about letting people use my car.
Him: But I’m not just anybody. I’m your man.
Me: Yes, you’re my man and as your woman, I’m offering to take you wherever you need to go.
Him: That’s not ride or die. You’re supposed to hold me down.
Me: Oh so you really want to go there.  First of all, I NEVER drive your car…EVER.  You won’t even let me behind the wheel of your precious [insert the name of a luxury car].
A few months ago because you are “my man” I went against the grain and my own judgment by letting you use my car and what happened? You NEVER paid for your part of the insurance like you promised AND on several occasions, you brought my car back WITHOUT GAS! So how dare you say some sh*t like that to me as if I don’t support you. From the looks of it, you don’t support me.  

This date conversation is OVER!

I left his house that night, “drove” off into the sunset [#petty], and didn’t speak to him for about 3 days because I was furious.

He has since apologized, but there’s still a lot of tension between us. Besides, I’m still not letting him use my car, so he’s just going to have to suck it up, put his feelings aside, and take the ride that I have offered or spend the money on a rental car until his car is out of the shop.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I take issue with people who are blatantly irresponsible with their own stuff and think I’m going to give them something of mine to screw up.  Just because I’m not helping him in the way that he would have liked doesn’t mean I’m not supportive.  He still has access to a vehicle. He just won’t be in the drivers seat.

Your thoughts?

 

Sincerely,

Ride or Ride?

What would you do in this situation? Should she let him use one of her cars? Was he out of line? What does “ride or die” mean to you?

Comment below! Submit your relationship & bad date stories to info@thisdateisover.com.

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