Issues

So I was preparing for my first date with this guy and I was really looking forward to it. He had the same name as my father and I thought that was kinda cool and odd because I don’t meet too many people in my age group who share his name.

Well I was trying to figure out what to wear because I wanted things to be perfect and must’ve tried on at least 10 different outfits before I settled on the right one. I wanted to look nice for him with a good balance of sexy and classy, but not too sexy because I didn’t want to distract him too much.

Anyway fast forward to the date…

He researched the restaurant for us to dine, which I appreciated because some men don’t put in much effort to plan a date, and I was rather impressed when I arrived. Although it was dark as sh** all hell inside [What is with these restaurants that are so damn dark? Makes me think they are trying to hide roaches in my food. lol], the ambiance was very nice/romantic and the food smelled REALLY REALLY good.

My date looked very nice, he greeted me with a big hug, and, my goodness, he smelled like heaven! I love a man who not only takes pride in his appearance, but also one who wears a scent that works well with his body chemistry…This guy had it going on. I was hoping he would like my outfit and I got the impression that he did because his eyes lit up when he helped me to remove my coat.

We had the typical icebreaker conversation “How was your day?”, “How about this weather?, etc. and then we placed an appetizer order. He started to tell me about his family [he was from the south] and the type of relationship that he was striving to have. He then went on to disclose the type of woman he wanted or, shall I say, did NOT want and things kinda went in an unexpected direction.

family

Him: I don’t want to date a woman who comes from broken home because they have issues.

Me: Issues?

Him: Yeah issues. Both of my parents are together, so I want a woman who has the same background.

Me: What issues are you referring to?

Him: I don’t know. They just have issues.

Me: Well we can go ahead and cancel my order because my parents are not together and have not been together since I was a small child.

This Date Is OVER!

I was preparing to leave because I didn’t want to waste his or my time or to curse him out, but he asked me profusely to stay. So I took a few deep breaths, calmed my nerves, and I stayed.

We continued on with the conversation because there was no way in habanero hell I was going to let his comments slide. I let him know that he has a right to his opinion, but, moving forward in the dating world, he might want to consider getting familial information ahead of time if someone’s family structure is that important to him. I also made him aware that children don’t dictate their parents’ relationship. I told him “bottom line, everybody has issues whether they come from a two-parent household or otherwise”, “I love my father very much, but I couldn’t make him stay” and “don’t put yourself on some sort of pedestal because your parents weathered the storm and have stayed together.” [Your parents probably aren’t even f******, they could be together because one of them can’t leave i.e. money, health, etc. They might just love each other. I don’t know. Who cares?]

My date was EXTREMELY apologetic and tried to make up for putting his foot in his mouth. I gave him a chance because he seemed very genuine and we dated for about 3 months. To my surprise, he wanted us to be exclusive, but to his chagrin, I did not echo his desires. He was very cool and I enjoyed his company, but I wasn’t feeling him enough to get into a full-blown relationship. So, we stopped seeing each other.

Sincerely,

I Hope He Finds What He’s Looking For