Neighbor

So I was on the condo association and noticed that we had new tenants in the building…two gentlemen…brothers actually. I introduced myself and told them to let me know if they needed any help or had any questions about the building.

A few days later, I ran into one of the brothers, let’s call him Jeff, and said hello as I normally would because I’m a friendly person. Jeff explained to me that he was having issues with the phone buzzing system and I let him know that I would take care of it. I called Jeff the next day from my cell phone (HUGE MISTAKE) and informed him that the problem had been fixed. He was very grateful and thanked me profusely.

A week went by and I received a call from a number I didn’t recognize…It was Jeff (I didn’t have his number saved in my phone) and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello

Jeff: Hi Marie

Me: Hi…Who is this?

Jeff: It’s me Jeff.

Me: Oh hey Jeff…Is there something I can help you with?

Jeff: I just wanted to see how you were doing.

Me: Ohhhhh kay 0_0 I’m doing fine, thanks. Did you need anything?

Jeff: I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime….maybe to dinner or a movie.

Me: Oh that’s very nice of you Jeff, but I will respectfully decline your offer.

Jeff: Why?

Me: I’m not interested nor comfortable with dating a neighbor, but I appreciate the offer. Take care. 

The call ended and Jeff seemed to have gotten the picture so I thought.

A few days later, I heard a knock at my door. Who was it? Jeff of course. [OMG What does he want now geez!] Before I opened the door, I put my shank in my bra for good measure in case he got out of line [I don’t do well with popup visits, especially by someone I told that I didn’t want to date. lol]

Anyway, I opened the door and Jeff was standing there with not one, but TWO dozen roses for me and I was absolutely taken aback. [Smooth move my friend. He definitely gets props for trying…I’m just saying.]

Unfortunately, I had to decline his offer once again by telling Jeff I was absolutely flattered by his incredible gesture, but that my decision to NOT date any of my neighbors had not changed. Jeff walked away disappointed but explained to me that he understood and respected my decision. LIAR!

A few days went by and this dude called me AGAIN (while I was on a date with someone else actually) as if nothing ever happened…As if we hadn’t had any prior conversations, this dude asked me out AGAIN. SMH! By that time I lost it and let him have it.

 Me: JEFF! Please STOP calling me. I told you I wasn’t interested in dating you. I don’t want to date anyone where I live. Why can’t you respect that?

Jeff: So if I move, will you date me?

Me: NOOOOOO! I’M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.

Jeff: But why? I’m a nice guy!

Me: Sir, I’m not going to entertain this conversation any further. Just note that if you call me again, I will be reporting you to the police. Leave me the f*** alone! FAREWELL and don’t call here again!

When I got home later that evening, would you believe that Jeff left me a sad note stating “I was being nice to you. All I wanted to do was take you out, but you were mean to me. Why did you have to be so mean?” [INSERT FACEPALM]

I know some of you reading this might be wondering “what’s the problem?” or “you should have given the guy a chance”, but I’m just not into dating a person where I live or work….There’s too much at stake in my opinion.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Signed,

I Don’t Date My Neighbors

P.S. WORDS OF WISDOM

Tip 1: Just because someone helps you or does something nice for you does NOT mean that they like you or want to date you!

Tip 2: When a person rejects you more than once, leave them the HELL alone!

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