Thank God For Facebook! (TGFF)

desk in office

So I met this guy who was a part of the night shift crew at my job….when I’m clocking out, he’s clocking in. He’d regularly come into the office a few minutes early and we’d have small talk. I learned that he was ex-military and a gym rat with multiple jobs.

Anyway, this dude was FINE, tall, and delicious, but I couldn’t really tell if he was digging me beyond a professional level and I damn sure wasn’t going to pursue him. [I’m shy! Sue me. Lol]

sushi platter

Well on this one particular evening, I was counting down to quitting time because I was STARVING since I left my lunch at home by mistake.  As my luck would have it, the night crew guy [let’s call him Derrick..not his real name] arrived 30+ minutes early for his shift (which was rather unusual) and said “you look hungry”. [First of all, I didn’t know hungry had a look and, second of all, you read my mind!] So Derrick left the office, stopped by a nearby restaurant, and brought me back something to eat. [Oh my goodness. He bought me food! I am in LOVE! Marry me!]


I was taken aback by his kind gesture and thanked him profusely. That’s when he went in for the kill and sealed the deal:

Him: You don’t have to thank me. It’s not a problem at all. I have to be honest with you though…I always rush to get here early just so that I can see you and talk to you.

Me: Oh my! Is that so?

Him: Yes. I think you’re beautiful and really enjoy talking to you.

Me: Wow. Thank you very much. I enjoy talking to you as well.

Him: Well, I’d love to exchange numbers with you if you don’t mind.

Me:  Sure.

Him: I can’t talk during my shift. So is it ok if I text you during that time?

Me: That’s fine.

I didn’t factor in the dangers of dating a coworker since we didn’t work our shifts together, so it wasn’t a big deal to me if we exchanged numbers.

Since I already had a few friends in my phone named Derrick, I asked for his last name and saved his information. He messaged me a couple of hours later, but our text conversation was cut short as I was at the movies with friends. I decided not to text him after I finished watching the movie because it was kinda late and I wasn’t in the mood for an extended text conversation.

Since I had only seen him in his work uniform, I was curious to see how Derrick looked in his “civilian clothing” and decided to look him up on Facebook. As I searched for his profile I kept saying to myself “Please don’t be a bamma! Please don’t be a bamma!!!” lol [Shallow!]

Source: Urban Dictionary

Source: Urban Dictionary

I found his profile and this dude was INDEED a BAMMA in more ways than one. Not only was his clothing out of style [which is really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things], but this mother f***er was MARRIED! YES, MARRIED! #FMYLIFE


screaming woman

The cover image on Derrick’s Facebook page was of a woman and initially, I thought she was his mom because she looked kind of old, but upon further review, I learned it was his wife because her profile said “Married to Derrick”.  I also saw the pictures from their engagement photo shoot. SMH!

wedding rings

I was shocked and disappointed, but couldn’t help but laugh about it.

He texted me the very next day and I inquired about his relationship status and, of course, he lied. I asked how long he had been single and his response was “Not sure”. [You’re not sure because you’re NOT single A$$HOLE!]. I wanted to tell him off and send him screenshots of what I had learned about his relationship status, but I decided to keep my cool because I didn’t want there to be any strife or backlash at the workplace.  I became short with him via text, declined all of his date requests, and he eventually stopped contacting me. [YAY!] He even stopped showing up for his shift early and actually started to come in late. OH WELL!


TGFF…Thank GOD for Facebook

How would you have handled this situation? Would you tell him that you knew he was married? Would you go on any dates with him?

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