So I went to dinner with a guy that I had been seeing for a month or so. I wasn’t really into spicy food at that time, but was so hungry that I inhaled everything on my plate.
After dinner, we go back to his place and it starts to get hot and heavy….kissing, caressing…But all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The butterflies and excitement that I thought I was feeling was actually my stomach telling me to get up RIGHT NOW and make a mad dash to the bathroom. I tried to ignore it, but the pain got stronger and stronger until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
So it happened. I went to this man’s bathroom and gave his toilet the lapdance of a lifetime…just about everything I ate that day made it’s royal exit from my system. [FMYLIFE!] The pain had caused me to blackout (so to speak) to the point that I had forgotten that I wasn’t at my own home. Once I handled my “business”, clarity set in and I began to realize that I had been in the bathroom for over 45 minutes and was actually still on a date. [Mother f*@#$%^!] I tried to think of every possible excuse to give this man for being in his bathroom for so long, but nothing seemed to make sense. So I decided to myself “Eff it! I’m human for crying out loud! I’ll just tell him what happened.”
Once I built up the courage to go back into the bedroom to tell my date the ugly truth, I found him in the bed in a deep sleep. [HALLELUJAH!] So I kissed him on the forehead, grabbed my purse and got the hell out of there.
I felt bad for the massacre that I did to his bathroom and just knew that I wouldn’t hear from him again, but I was wrong. He called the next day stating that he had a nice time and wanted to hang out again.
We did hang out a few times after the “incident”, but it didn’t last long. Not because I was too embarrassed or that he couldn’t get over it, but because I found out that this guy actually had a girlfriend. [WTF! I’ll save that story for another day.]
Ah well, sh!t happens!
Signed,
I‘m Glad I Blew Up Your Bathroom!
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