Pool

So a guy that I met two weeks prior called me one Friday night asking me to go out with him for drinks before going to the club with his homeboys. I declined his offer because I was sick as a dog – coughing and hacking – but this guy was not the least bit concerned, as he asked me out profusely. I kept telling him that I was not up to it, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. [I know I’m awesome and all, but not that damn awesome geez! lol] Well, stupid me pried myself out of bed, threw on some clothes, and waited for him to pick me up. 

When he arrived he was absolutely smitten…not with me, but with “my” house or shall I say where I was staying because it wasn’t my damn house at all. At that time, I was staying with my dad in his gorgeous, luxury home with a beautifully manicured lawn and sparkling swimming pool. Anyway, this guy was really enamored with the neighborhood and my dad’s home so much so that it became the main topic of discussion during the car ride. [Ugh!!! I should’ve stayed my sick ass in bed!]

When we arrived to the local restaurant, he suggested that I order a drink to kick my cold. So I ordered the strongest drink that I could think of which was a Bone Crusher (similar alcohol content as that of a long island iced tea and topped with champagne), but it didn’t work and the only thing that it seemed to accomplish was making me extremely drowsy compounded with more sneezing and coughing.

At the end of the day, I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t vibe with this dude at all, everything he did seemed to annoy me, I wasn’t feeling well, and the conversation was blah because he kept talking about my (father’s) house…We were just not a match. So he took me home per my request and I stayed out of touch.

Fast forward a couple of months

I received a phone call from Mr. I Love Your House. I didn’t recognize the number because I deleted the contact after our blah date. I’m not big on small talk with people that I don’t care for, so I cut to the chase and asked him what he wanted.

Him: Me and my friends are throwing an end of the summer pool party

Me: Ok. And?

Him: Yeah well, we are having the toughest time finding a pool close by to have our party. Do you know of any?

Me: Sorry. Can’t think of any. 

Him: Are you sure there aren’t any near you? Don’t you have one at your….

Me: [I cut him off before he could finish his question and erupted in laughter] HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! So let me get this straight. Did you REALLY think that I was going to invite you and your hoodrat friends over to my (dad’s) house to have a party? You must be out of your damn mind!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

CLICK!

[That’s my sound effect for abruptly hanging up the phone. lol]

This Date Is Over!

Sincerely,

Never Thought I’d Have To Compete With a House

Have you ever been in a similar situation? What would you do? What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? Share your bad date stories at www.thisdateisover.com.

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