So I met this guy online and we talked on the phone a few times…He seemed pretty cool. His stats: 28, 5’9, handsome, college graduate, no kids. My stats: 31, 5’6.5, college graduate, no kids.
On this one particular evening, I was on my way home from a meeting when I got a call from Mr. Online requesting an impromptu meetup over drinks. I obliged because #1) I’m a fan of partaking in libation activities and #2) I was looking forward to seeing Mr. Online in the flesh since we hadn’t had any prior opportunities to meet face-to-face.
While I was en route, Mr. Online informed me that he’d be waiting for me at the front door. [GREAT!] I finally found a parking space (a bit of a distance away) and checked myself out in the mirror one last time before hopping out of the car to make certain that my appearance was still on point. [and it was….I’m feeling myself I know, but I looked damn good. What can I say? lol] As I was walking toward the restaurant, I saw this rather petite, young man standing outside and I thought to myself “Who in the hell is this little boy outside? This cannot be him.” So I stopped dead in my tracks (in the parking lot) to call Mr. Online on the phone and yep, it was him. [FACEPALM!]
I should have left at that moment, but since he spotted me, I continued to walk to the restaurant to get this impromptu meeting over with. When I finally arrived to the door, all I could do was shake my head. Not only did Mr. Online look like a prepubescent boy, but this guy was incredibly short….so short that I had to bend significantly to give him a hug. Since I have a very hard time biting my tongue, the conversation went as follows:
Me: You are much shorter than you claimed to be in your profile.
Him: Nah, you’re wearing those really high heels.
Me: I can take my shoes off right now and I bet I will still be taller than you. There’s no way that you can possibly be 5’9.
Him: I must have typed it in wrong because I’m like 5’8.
Me: [Insert the BLANKEST stares!] You’re not 5’8 either my friend. Besides, you look awfully young. Are you sure you’re 28? How old are you really?
Him: I’m 28.
Me: I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. I’d like to see your ID.
Him: Come on…Let’s just have a drink. I’ll show you my ID inside.
Me: Ok, we shall see.
So we were sitting at the bar and he tried to avoid the ID issue by talking about his family. He mentioned that the 10 year anniversary of his mom’s death was approaching. I offered my condolences and asked how old he was when his mom passed. His response: “I was really young when she died.” [I didn’t know 18 was considered really young, but oh well.] I asked to see his ID again for about the third time and, of course, he tried to change the subject, but I had enough of the pussyfooting and demanded that he show it to me. He reluctantly handed over his driver’s license and as expected, this dude was a youngin….23 years old to be exact. SMH
Me: Why did you lie to me?
Him: I knew that if I told you my real age, you wouldn’t talk to me.
Me: EXACTLY! My profile is quite clear with regard to my age requirements. You’re not going to just lie your way into my heart.
THIS DATE IS OVER!
I finished my one drink and left the restaurant.
BTW, I was in fact taller than Mr. Online. As he walked me to my car, I took my off my 6 inch heels and revealed that I was still taller than him barefoot [Yes, I was pressed, but I don’t like liars!]. And to make matters worse, I had to ask him to pull his pants up because they were sagging way too much. SMH…Terrible! lol
A word to the wise to: don’t lead with deception because the truth will surely be revealed one way or another. Let the person decide if they want to talk to you before wasting each other’s time.
Sincerely,
You Aint Got To Lie To Kick It
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