A Date?

So I was at a holiday party chatting with the guy who did the fabulous decor. He was absolutely freakin’ hilarious and we really hit it off…on a plutonic level. Why? Because his rather feminine demeanor screamed to me that this guy was totally gay.

Anyway, we exchanged cards so that we could keep in touch with regards to doing events together and to also kick back, have drinks and the like. In my mind, I hit the jackpot because he was going to be my stereotypical gay guy friend….my shopping buddy….my drinking partner. I was so excited thinking about all of the possibilities of our new friendship. I was gonna be Tyra and he was going to be my Miss J. [YAY!!!]

On this one particular evening, I was in a Starbucks downtown catching up on some work and my new buddy called to ask what I was doing. I told him where I was and he let me know that he was in the vicinity. So, we agreed to meet at a restaurant a couple of doors down.

I walked over to the restaurant to meet my friend and he was just as funny as I remembered. We started talking about business, the holidays, and etc. Well, I was getting ready to pop the question [Will you be my shopping partner?], but the conversation somehow turned to relationships and that’s when he dropped a bombshell by stating that he had been previously married to a WOMAN and that he had four children. I sat there in total shock because I could not understand how he mustered up the nerve to not only marry a woman, but to have sex with one repeatedly AND produce FOUR children. [Excuse my ignorance!]

I was preparing to ask him how life had been for him since he’d come out (of the closet), but, before I could complete my sentence, my new buddy cut me off and started to tell me how beautiful he thought I was, how he noticed me at the holiday party, and that he couldn’t wait to see me again. I sat there trying to take it all in because I was all the way confused and that’s when it dawned on me…I was on a F****** date! A F****** DATE! This dude actually like, likes me [yes I said like likes!] [NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I wasn’t ready! *Kevin Hart voice*] How could a man be so feminine yet straight? No way! This can’t be real! Does he not know that he’s feminine? Girly? A girly man? I was absolutely baffled. I had been bamboozled…hoodwinked….run amuck. I wasn’t going to have my Miss J after all.

This (so-called) Date Is OVER!

After the “date“, my new buddy kept calling & texting me trying to hook up again, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I actually thought he was gay and had no desire to date him. [I just can’t get with a feminine man. That doesn’t seem right at all.] So I did what any immature person would do and I ignored all of him. SMH

Sincerely,

I WAS DUPED!

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