So I was at a bar crawl with my boyfriend on a Saturday night and he invited some of his friends to tag along. As the night went on, my boyfriend seemed to have a chip on his shoulders by showboating and making snide remarks to me in front of his friends. [Ummmmm you need to chill out because I’m really not trying to tell you about yourself in front of your friends.]
We wrapped things up at the last bar and decided to soak up the alcohol with a jumbo slice of pizza. Larry, one of the tag-alongs, offered to buy everyone pizza. He asked what slice I wanted and I said pepperoni. As Larry began to pass around the slices, he attempted to hand me a slice of cheese pizza. I said “Oh no, I asked for pepperoni.” Larry said “my bad” and headed back to the counter to get the right order. [Simple fix.] Apparently, this REALLY bothered my boyfriend who he decided to intervene by saying to me “Man just take the god damn cheese pizza!”
I looked around and began to blink profusely because there was no way he could have been talking to me…I had an out-of-body experience of sorts. I walked away from my boyfriend who was clearly feeling himself too much at that moment [perhaps being around his friends gave him an ego boost. *shrugs*] and grabbed my slice of pepperoni pizza from Larry. This pissed my boyfriend off even more and he stormed outside of the pizza joint with his friends leaving me inside. [Wow! Is this really happening?]
When I went outside, the fellas were gone [wow again]…they left me [smh]…so I made my way to the car alone with my pepperoni pizza in hand. Good thing I drove.
Once I got to my car, my boyfriend called my cell phone and began screaming in my ear.
Him: Where the f*** are you? Where did you go?
Me: I’m going to need you to take that down several notches.
Him: I can’t believe you left me.
Me: Actually, you walked out with your friends and left ME. Not the mention the way you acted in the pizza joint was completely uncalled for. You really need to check yourself. Anyway, I’m waiting for you at the car.
Hindsight is always 20/20 because I REALLY should have left him there with his friends and never looked back.
He got into my car and would you believe this dude cursed me out the entire 30 minute ride home? Normally, I would have engaged, but I decided it wasn’t even worth it and stayed silent because as far as I was concerned THIS DATE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER!
When we got to my place, he started to head up the stairs to my door.
Me: Ummmm where do you think you are going?
Him: I’m going inside to go to sleep.
Me: You are not welcome to stay in my home. You must be out of your entire mind to think that you are going to stay in my home the way that you embarrassed and disrespected me tonight.
Him: Well, I need to get my stuff.
Me: Fine, grab your stuff and go because you are not staying here.
Silly me believed that he was gonna grab his stuff and leave peacefully, but NOPE. Things went downhill even further. I grabbed his bag from my room, placed it by the front door, and reiterated that he needed to leave. His response “I ain’t going no f*cking where!” I stood by the front door and told him AGAIN that he needed to leave. He stormed to my bedroom, began throwing my things around, and slamming my doors at 3am. I had enough and made the very STUPID decision to confront him. I saw him slamming my closet doors to the point that they almost came off of the hinges and I grabbed him by the throat digging my nails into his neck.
Me: [Talking through my teeth] Get the f**k out of my house.
Him: Oh you got me f***ed up! [He pushed me down to the floor]
Me: Get out of my house! You are not welcome here.
Him: I ain’t going no f***ing where!
Me: Oh you don’t want to leave? I’m going to make you leave. I don’t know who you think you are, but this is my house. You don’t live here, don’t pay any bills here, and you are waking up my neighbors acting a damn fool. You have lost your mind.
I ran into the kitchen to call the police and as I was dialing 9-1-1, he ripped the phone off of the wall. I ran to get my cell phone off of my living room table and we tussled on the floor as he tried to rip the phone out of my hands. I screamed and kicked for him to get off of me, but he pried the phone from my hands, threw it against the wall, and it shattered…He also broke my living room table trying to take the phone from me. I got up from the floor, grabbed his bag, and threw it out the front door. As he ran after his bag, I locked him out. FINALLY!
He started pounding on my door trying to get inside and I ran to my guest bedroom to use the land line since my cell phone and kitchen phone were both broken by him. The operator could hear him banging on the door and calling me all sorts of bitches in the background, but by the time the police arrived, he was gone. I didn’t feel comfortable staying home alone and the police were not able to track him down that night [I’m assuming he stayed with one of his homeboys that night], so one of the officers drove me around and talked to me to calm my nerves because I was very shaken up. The officer was kind enough to take me to my mother’s house where I attempted to get some rest, but I couldn’t sleep.
I went back home the next day and just cried non-stop as I looked around at my place: dents in my front door, the remnants of my cell phone all over the place, and my broken living room table. Not to mention, the bruises on my back and legs.
I went to the courthouse the next day to file a restraining order and as I was driving there, I realized that I never even ate the pizza, as it was sitting in the box on my backseat untouched.
Sincerely,
Still In Shock
P.S. Learn from my mistakes. If you ever get into a situation such that someone refuses to leave your house, try to avoid confrontation. Simply leave your home [yes, YOU leave], drive away, and call the police from a safe area so that they can handle it. It’s better to be safe than sorry. My situation could have been a lot worse.
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for assistance and to speak with a trained professional.
What would you do in this situation? What could she have done differently? Would you forgive him? Do you think a restraining order was necessary? Can this relationship move forward in a positive manner? If so, how?
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