Sh*t Happens

So I had been seeing this guy for about a month. I liked him a lot and really enjoyed his company. Well this one particular night, we went on a date and it was great as per usual. I didn’t want the night to end, so I invited him inside as he was taking me home. [Get your mind out of the gutter! lol]

We watched TV and got caught up in the moment with incessant laughter and great conversation. Time flew by and I didn’t want him to make the 30+ minute ride home because I knew he was tired and it was very late, so we went into my room to catch some shut eye. We cuddled until we fell asleep. [Awwww so romantic…for me. I hope he felt the same way.]

I woke up the next morning and saw my guy sleeping so peacefully next to me. In the middle of me staring at his handsome face, my stomach did a little one-two step and started beat boxing. I just knew I REALLY needed to pass gas. [Come on stomach! Not now! I want to cuddle!]

I didn’t feel like getting out of bed so I figured I’d let a silent one go while Mr. Handsome Face was sound asleep. I slowly turned my body away from his and got closer to the edge of the bed so that I wouldn’t wake him and I let her rip. Mannnnnnn it felt so good to get that out of my system [morning farts are the best!], but there was a HUGE problem: it was not so silent after all. Not only was the fart loud as all hell, but it made the bed vibrate. I was praying to God my guy slept through it all, but my prayers went totally UNANSWERED because he woke up saying “Yooooo what the f***!“