So I was at Bae’s house as per usual and we were cuddled up on his couch. We ate, drank, and watched a movie. Once the movie was over, I gave him that look….it was time to get it on. Kissing, hugging, sucking, you name it. It got so hot and heavy that we didn’t even make it to the bedroom. We started on the couch and then the dining room chair. He gave me everything! [I got mine and then some!] He took charge [just the way I like it] and led me to the living room floor where he bent me over and gave it to me like his life…

So when I moved into my new house, I was super excited to get everything decorated and setup. Everything was in place and the only thing I had left to do was hang my curtain rods. I called people to see who could help me, but everyone was busy. [Awwww man!] As my luck would have it, I got a call one night from the maintenance man at my old apartment complex calling to congratulate me on my new home and telling me he would miss seeing me around. We used to talk briefly a year or so prior to my move, but nothing really came of it. We remained cool…

So I met this old head (pushing 50 or perhaps older) and he was SHARP as a mother effin TACK! He was a little old in the face, but his suit game was on point, he smelled good, and he was seemingly the perfect gentleman. We exchanged numbers and, naturally, the courting process ensued. He picked me up one night for a date and we had a great time. We went to a show, ate, drank, danced….it was awesome.  As our date came to an end, I was ready for him to take me home, but he had other plans and decided to drive in the opposite direction which was…

So this guy I had been seeing for a few months came over one night and after a while, things started to get hot and heavy [as expected…Hey a girl has needs damn it! lmbo]. His lips were so soft and the way he kissed all over me got me beyond excited. He started at my lips, worked his way down to my neck, then my chest, then my belly…..and of course he was headed to my sweet spot. [OOOOH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!] While he was down there, I became increasingly overwhelmed with a feeling that I had NEVER felt before. What feeling was that? Total DISAPPOINTMENT! THIS DATE IS OVER! I mean this…

So it was Summer 2003 and I met this guy through a coworker because I needed someone to hook me up with bootleg cable. I called the guy, gave him my address, and we agreed on a time for him to come by later that evening.  He came over at around 6 or so with his tools and, not to be mean, he kinda looked like a hamster with man boobs. He flirted with me the entire time [I was skinny and cute back then], so I figured I’d flirt back so that he could bring down his $300 fee. Anyway, he hooked up my cable, started looking around my place, and…