So a guy invited me to join him at a sports bar to watch a basketball game. I accepted his offer and headed to meet him there. He was fine as all get out, the conversation flowed nicely, and he was good friends with one of the bartenders which meant we got the super duper homeboy discount on everything. [Hallelujah!] I was a little hungry and didn’t want to drink on an empty stomach, so I ordered a dozen wings. I offered my date some of the wings, but he declined stating that he wasn’t hungry. I started to get full, so I asked the bartender to bring me a…
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What Dat Mouf Do?
So I decided to try out a dating app to test the waters. I’m a silly person to the core, so I made certain to include some banter about the importance of nice (well, decent) teeth in an effort to avoid matching with a yuckmouth [i.e. a person with really bad teeth]. I perused some profiles and came across this one guy who was very attractive; however, I couldn’t gauge how his teeth were going to look because his mouth was closed in all of his pictures [Red Flag], but I decided to put those fears aside, swiped right, and BOOM….it was a match! We chatted on the app…
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Don’t Be A Mitch!
So I had a little bit of a rocky first date with this guy, let’s call him Sassy Mitch. He didn’t tell me he was going to be late to our date until after I had arrived at the restaurant. [You cannot be serious!] Apparently, he locked himself out of his house and only had his phone. I told him we should reschedule so that he could get his stuff in order and because I was starving [and I’m not going to wait for you to get here…sorry!], but he insisted on coming. Mitch arrived 45 minutes late, but I was already grubbing. Fortunately and surprisingly, things ended on a…
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Stankonia
So I met this guy named Bo at a barbecue and the attraction was instant. The chemistry between us was great; however, there was one HUGE problem: He wasn’t quite divorced…He was going through the process, but had a few months to go. [F*ck my life!] I made him aware of the reservations with dealing with someone in his situation and told him there would be no sexual relations between us whatsoever until his stuff was formally settled. The plan was to cut him off because I didn’t want to end up in the middle of any type of drama or for our emotions to get the best of us,…
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Semi-Catfished
So I had been doing the online dating thing for a while which made me kind of hip to some of the deceptive things that a lot of men do with their pictures and profile information. As I was perusing this guy’s profile trying to determine if I should swipe left or right, I decided “what the heck?” and swiped right. He was attractive and cleaned up nicely according to his picture. However, he only had ONE picture [RED FLAG #1] and his mouth was closed [RED Flag #2] which made me concerned that he might have a yuckmouth. He swiped right too, so that opened the door for us to start chatting back…
