So I was drunk at a birthday party in NYC and this girl kept telling me how awesome her friend was…making him sound like such a good guy. You know, a “great on paper dude”….great job, smart and I don’t know…I was drunk. He showed up much later and in a bit of drunken desperation, Drunk Self (I) threw myself at him and we became friends. Drunk self, managed to give him ALL of my information: cell, home, FB, email, everything [Damn her!!]. The next morning he came back to the city and I really saw him. He was short and round. He’s Samwise. The Hobbit. [This Mother F***er is a…
-
-
The Spitter
So I reconnected with a woman I met previously at a non-profit event via social media [Thank God for Facebook…Well in this case, I believe Satan was involved with this woman]. We began talking on the phone and, since everything seemed fine, I invited her on a museum date. Now I’m all for jokes and I absolutely love to laugh, but I know better than to be loud and obnoxious in a museum. This woman, let’s call her The Spitter, was so loud and ignorant in the museum [think loud speaker announcements in grade school] making all types of inappropriate jokes and comments. Needless to say, I was happy when…
-
Speed Date
So I met this guy online and we began to speak on the phone off and on for a couple of weeks. I had been out of town for work, so there wasn’t an immediate opportunity for us to connect face to face. Well, I was home this particular week and the guy called to ask what I was doing that evening. I let him know that I had a meeting when I got off and would be headed home afterwards. He said he wanted to see me and would be wrapping up with his client [he was a personal trainer] at around 7:30pm, which happened to be around the…
-
The Set Up
So this guy that I knew from an online dating site hit me up a year later out of the blue. We dated for a bit previously, but I didn’t think he was a good fit because he had a Napoleon complex: he was mean to me at times and didn’t know how to talk to me. I stopped communicating with him at that time and told him that I didn’t think we were compatible. As I said before, he messaged me one year later on a social media site asking to reconnect. I told him it wasn’t a good idea and declined, but he just kept asking. He asked me out…
-
1 Bar, 2 Fools
So I was at the bar with a group of friends when I felt someone squeezing on my side. It caught me totally off guard because I was in the middle of a conversation with one of my homegirls and knew it wasn’t her grabbing me on my love handles. I turned my chair around to see who touched me and it was some guy who was sitting in the stool right next to me at the bar. Me: Ummmmm…why are you touching me? Can I help you with something? Him: Oh, I just wanted to get your attention to talk to you. Me: My attention? Are you kidding me right now? You’re…
