So I was driving home from work and happened to be listening to the radio, which is super rare for me. I overheard a commercial for a comedy show that was happening that coming Friday at 8pm which was a couple of days away. [Holy sh*t! Why am I just now hearing about this show? Where have I been?] Anyway, I had my mind set on getting tickets because there were a lot of great acts on the lineup and I love me a good...
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Valentine’s Day Disaster
So I was on my way to Europe, but had a layover in New Jersey. On my layover flight, I was gonna tune everything out and plug in my headphones, but the guy next to me decided to strike up a conversation [mother f*****!] He was not at all my type from a physical standpoint (his head was MASSIVE and his shoes were all the way run over), but he was very cool and I’m always down to connect with new people. Anyway, we had the typical ‘where are you from, where are you going, what do you do’ conversation. He disclosed that he was a surgeon in New York…
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Super Bowl Showdown
So I was headed to a Super Bowl party hosted by a group of fraternity brothers. A few days before the party, I got a call from a guy (let’s call him Lew Zer) that I had been out with a couple of months prior and he informed me that he’d also be at the Super Bowl party. Nothing happened between the two of us besides dinner because. Lew Zer blew me off for our second date and I stopped calling him after that. Because I overslept, I arrived to the Super Bowl party right before half-time and once I got into the house, it was absolutely packed with people.…
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Petty Moment
So I was at a barbecue at my cousin’s house when a friend of hers, let’s call her Vicky, arrived with this cutie patootie baby boy who was about 6 months old. The baby was a little fussy and Vicky was having a hard time putting him to sleep. My cousin joked that since I had the biggest boobs in the bunch, I should try to put the baby to sleep. Vicky handed me the baby, I held the him against my bosom and just like that, he went to sleep. [What can I say? They’re real and they’re spectacular!] As a joke, I posted a picture of me holding the baby on Facebook with…
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Drunk Dating
So I was drunk at a birthday party in NYC and this girl kept telling me how awesome her friend was…making him sound like such a good guy. You know, a “great on paper dude”….great job, smart and I don’t know…I was drunk. He showed up much later and in a bit of drunken desperation, Drunk Self (I) threw myself at him and we became friends. Drunk self, managed to give him ALL of my information: cell, home, FB, email, everything [Damn her!!]. The next morning he came back to the city and I really saw him. He was short and round. He’s Samwise. The Hobbit. [This Mother F***er is a…
